


“You’re a genius with facts, but you’re really stupid with people.”

by courageous_boss



Series: Three Birds and a Baby (a Batfamily AU) [6]
Category: Batman - All Media Types
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-11
Updated: 2018-11-11
Packaged: 2019-08-22 04:55:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,961
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16591220
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/courageous_boss/pseuds/courageous_boss
Summary: Bruce considers giving Damian to Dinah.





	“You’re a genius with facts, but you’re really stupid with people.”

**Author's Note:**

> this is not very good, but i wanted to put something out. i'll most likely revisit and revise this in the future. in the meantime, enjoy. 
> 
> Ages: Damian - newborn  
> Dick - 12  
> Jason - 15  
> Tim - 4

The baby has refused to sleep since he’d arrived, growing fussier as the hours passed. Damian was adorable in a way that made Bruce’s chest _ache_ because he’d never seen his other sons at that age. Tim was the closest he could get but even at four years old, Tim had long outgrown most of his babyish behavior.

“You’re holding him wrong,” Dick said, hands soft and so, so gentle. He reached to move Damian's tiny, floppy head into the crook of Bruce’s elbow.

And Bruce. Bruce should have known that – _knows how to hold a baby, just not his baby_. “Oh, yes. Thank you.”

Dick doesn’t move away, climbing onto Bruce’s lap, very careful not to jostle Damian's squishy body. He moves his fingers just barely over Damian's cheeks, brushing the wisps of baby hair and smiling so sweetly.

And, oh no. Bruce really couldn’t deal with this too.

“He looks like you,” Dick whispered.

Bruce couldn’t see it. “He looks like a shriveled up turnip to me.”

Dick giggled, “No. Look carefully,” he booped Damian's tiny nose softly, smiling when the baby scrunched his face. “He’s got your nose,” Dick ran his fingers against Damian's jaw, “and your chin.

Bruce still couldn’t see it, but. Okay. Maybe Damian kind of looked like him. Just a little bit.

Jason was walking into the room then too, Tim in his arms and a strange look on his face. Tim’s eyes were wide and fascinated as he watched Damian fuss about.

“He’s so small,” Tim marveled, squirming about until Jason set him down and then running over to ogle the baby.

And Damian was not having it. His cheeks turned bright red and he frowned before he started screaming. Bawling and crying and Bruce could not deal with this right now. He froze, staring at the crying baby, even as Tim backed away and Jason frowned.

“Bruce,” Dick tried, “you have to cuddle him.”

But, Damian was crying, crying, crying and Jason was of no help, just as confused and a bit preoccupied with a startled Tim clutching onto his legs. Bruce needed it to just – stop.

“Bruce, you have to at least try,” Dick was moving now, trying to hush the baby. But Damian was thrashing around, screaming and crying and Bruce thought suddenly, with ice slicing his heart, that the baby was looking for his mother.

“Um,” Bruce swallowed something thick and nasty that had wedged itself in his throat. “I have something to check on. I, I’ll be back soon.”

He passed the baby and all of his screaming and kicking and fussing to Dick and bolted. There was something in the Cave that needed his attention – always something – and the boys would just have to do without him for now.

Dick blinked at Bruce’s retreating figure, then blinked at Jason and Tim, then blinked at tiny, little Damian. “Wow.”

Jason scoffed, ruffling Tim’s hair and squeezing the child’s shoulder. “Typical. You deal with the baby, I’ll handle Timmy.”

Tim complained a bit, wanting still to see the new baby, but followed obediently being Jason with the promise of hot chocolate with marshmallows. Dick turned his attention to Damian, his heart hammering away in his chest. Because.

Because Damian was so small and soft and looked even cuter than a puppy. And Dick had learned that puppies were very cute. Damian was sniffling now, hiccupping for a few seconds before he started screaming again.

“Hush little baby,” Dick cooed, shifting to free one of his hands to wipe Damian's tears. Damian continued crying so Dick thought that he should sing a lullaby. Bruce had said that Damian's mother had lived in the Caribbean and spoke Arabic. He knew only one [song](https://www.mamalisa.com/?t=es&p=402) in Arabic, something he’d learned back at the circus that the Court hadn’t taken from his memories.

“Everybody has a car, but my grandpa has a donkey,” Dick sang, letting the words shape his accent until the song was no longer just the lyrics but the shape of the letters and the sounds of the syllables on his tongue. Damian suddenly hushed, pausing mid-wail and staring at Dick as if Dick was some strange anomaly that deserved to be treated with utter fascination.

“He lets us ride behind him and takes us for a walk,” Dick continued, laughing at the silly lyrics, “and the policeman blows his whistle at him, with his hand he makes signs to him.”

Damian was smiling now, squirming around in with Dick supposed was an attempt to dance, so Dick finished the song with more laughter than words, “All the cars honk at him: Pap, Pap, Pap.”

Damian squealed, giggling loudly and gripping at Dick’s shirt.

“You like that, huh?” Dick mused, drying the last of Damian's tears and holding the baby a little bit tighter. He thought then, looking at Damian's round, flushed, happy face, that one more brother didn’t sound that bad.

 

* * *

 

Two days after Damian was brought home, Bruce called an emergency family meeting with everyone except Dick. And, well, Damian.

“I know that I asked you all to be patient with Damian and you have, so thank you,” Bruce said.

Tim was busy coloring some sort of jungle flower, so he didn’t seem that bothered by Bruce’s words. Jason and Alfred, though, frowned.

“I have made arrangements for him to live with one of my close friends,” Bruce said, words plain and blank.

“What?! No!” Jason screeched. Alfred looked like he wanted to say something but kept quiet. Jason wondered if the butler had known of Bruce’s intentions before this.

“Calm down, Jason,” Bruce said, tone firm, “I have to do what is best for Damian.”

“You’ve got to be kidding me,” Jason scowled, grabbing Tim up and holding him tightly. He’d always thought that the only reason Bruce had not officially claimed Tim as he legal son was because the boy’s parents had no desire to let the public know of their neglectful style of parenting. Now, though. With Bruce giving away his own son, Jason wasn’t so sure. “What’s best for Damian is to stay with his family.”

“What’s best for Damian is a mother!” Bruce yelled.

“Master Bruce, please refrain from yelling,” Alfred cut in, moving to stand behind Jason. He put a gentle hand on top of Tim’s head.

Bruce took a deep, seething breath. “I am Damian's father and I have decided that the Manor is not a fit place to raise a baby. I don’t want anyone getting too attached to him.”

“Is that why Dick’s not here?” Jason gritted his teeth.

Tim perked up at Dick’s name, looking around, “Yeah. Where is Dick? I have something to tell him.”

“Master Bruce, have you considered letting Damian say a bit longer? Just to ensure that you are making the right decision,” Alfred tried.

“Damian will be leaving at the end of the week – ”

“That’s tomorrow!” Jason screamed.

“The decision has already been made,” Bruce said, refusing to look at any of them. “I won't have you questioning me.”

Jason glared at him, “Dickie’s not going to let this happen. If he tries to kill you, don’t be surprised.”

 

* * *

 

 

When Bruce finally worked up the nerve to inform Dick of his decision, he was baffled at what he saw. In the few days that Damian had been with them, Dick had taken a particular liking to the baby. Dick had always had an affinity to small, cute things that needed protection. With Damian, he’d gone on overload.

Dick had moved Damian's crib into his room and pushed it up against the window. Which was. Wow. Dick had refused to have his bed anywhere but pushed up against a window, constantly plagued with the threat of being trapped. For the boy to give that up so easily – so quickly. Bruce sighed.

“Bruce?” Dick looked up from where he was sitting on the floor beside Damian's crib. The baby was gurgling quietly and moving his limbs around slowly. “Did you come to see Damian?”

“Actually, I came to see you,” Bruce sat on the edge of Dick’s bed and invited the boy to sit beside him.

Once settled, Dick shot Bruce a crinkly smile. “What’s up?”

“I know that you care for Damian a lot,” Bruce started, stomach churning.

“Yes. He’s so wonderful, Bruce. He’s so sweet and he laughs like you. You know – with his shoulders moving a lot and his face turns red.”

Bruce nodded, but he didn’t know. He hadn’t actually seen Damian laugh yet. “I have a friend – Dinah. Dinah Lance. You met her at that party for Christmas.”

“I remember.”

“Damian is going to live with her.”

Dick didn’t say anything, just looked at Bruce with an unexpectedly passive face.

“She has a son about Jason’s age, so he won’t be lonely. She’s going to take good care of him,” Bruce said.

Dick wrapped his arms around Bruce’s chest and spoke, “I’ll miss you, Bruce.”

Bruce placed his hand against Dick’s back, feeling his sharp shoulder bones and the knobs of his spine and reminding himself how young Dick was. “What do you mean?”

“I’ll miss Damian too, but he won't understand if I say that to him. But you will. So, I will miss you. I wish I could come too, but I can’t live Jay and Timmy alone. Especially if you’re not going to be here.”

Bruce was growing more and more confused. “I don’t understand. Why do you think I’m leaving? I just said _Damian's_ going to live with Dinah.”

Dick pulled back to look at Bruce with an unimpressed face. “You’re going with him.”

A horrid, sticky sort of dread bubbled in Bruce’s chest. “No, Dick. Damian's going alone.”

Damian suddenly squealed, but he wasn’t upset, just looking for attention. Dick picked him up, settling against Bruce’s side with the baby in his arms, staring up at the two of them.

“You’re a genius with facts, B. But you’re really stupid with people,” Dick said, not unkindly. “Lucky for you, I’ve got them figured out. Pretty much, at least.”

“Why don’t you hold him?” Dick offered Damian to his father, but Bruce’s face turned panicked. Dick had to stop himself from laughing at the sight of this huge man – who had defeated the Court of Owls – freaking out over a tiny, harmless baby.

“Babies need love, B. I know you love him,” Dick pressed a small hand against Bruce’s chest, right about his quickening heart. “I can feel it here. You’re scared and that’s a good thing. Parents should be scared for their children. But you can’t let anyone take Damian away from you. Even yourself.”

“I, I don’t know how to take care of a baby,” Bruce said, the words barely making it out of his mouth. His mind was filled with fear and Damian was smiling at him. _Smiling_. At _him_.

“We can figure it out together, then,” Dick said. “What we’re not going to do is let anyone else get him. We have to protect him. Both of us.”

Bruce steeled himself, taking Damian's soft body into his hands. And, oh god. The baby was so small he could fit right there.

“That’s it,” Dick praised. “You’re a natural.”

Damian looked a bit miffed at being away from Dick, but not altogether displeased. When Bruce pulled him closer, he curled against the man’s chest and began blinking himself to sleep.

“We’ll figure this out,” Dick promised, smiling sweetly. Then, his smile turned sinister and cold, “and if anyone tries to take him from me – even you, B – I’ll run my katana through their heart.”

Bruce knew that Damian couldn’t understand their words, but the baby made and happy nose and squealed in agreement nonetheless.

 

 


End file.
